Goth Challenge, Day 13

Day 13 – What was your first band t-shirt?

I got this Cure shirt in, I think, 1987. I was about 14.

My mom took me out of school for a special day together. We went to downtown Pittsburgh, had lunch, and did some shopping. I remember asking her to take me to Eide's Entertainment store. I remember being excited to find this shirt in a size small enough to fit me without looking like a tent as this was well before the advent of the Girly-Tee.

I also remember the first time I wore it because I was disappointed that no one else that I knew at the time was excited about the Cure. In fact, I had several people actually ask me who the Cure was.

Looking back, I'm not really surprised. After all, this was the Pittsburgh area in the mid-80s. Pittsburgh was, and still is, stuck on "classic rock." In fact their current "alternative" radio station seems stuck in thee early 90s - they have a heavy rotation of Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Stone Temple Pilots... But back then, if it wasn't 80s hair metal, Zeppelin or Floyd, or top 40 crap, 99% of people in my high school didn't know it. In the next couple years, they did know the Cure and Depeche Mode, as each band had radio hits then. The Cure had Pictures of You and Depeche Mode had Personal Jesus and Enjoy the Silence.

But this shirt became symbolic to me of realizing that I existed somewhere on the fringes - outside the norm.

Goth Challenge, Day 12

Day 12 – What's your Gothic inspiration?

I can't say there is one outstanding person from when I was in my formative Baby Bat years who made me think: "I want to be just like you," or "You've really inspired me to be the Goth I am." I've almost always done what made me happiest and most comfortable.

I have already addressed what drew me into the Goth subculture in Goth Challenge, Day 1.

As for inspiration... I can say I've always found inspiration in Queen Elizabeth I.

I greatly admire the determination, grace and will with which she lived her life in the face of so many seemingly insurmountable obstacles. She fought with every fiber of her being to gain and maintain her crown, then proceeded to become one of the greatest monarchs of her time: despite imprisonment; despite multiple attempts to dethrone, discredit, or assasinate her; despite the country being nearly penniless; despite the deeply divided and fighting religious factions.

She refused to be bullied by those around her who wished her to follow the more traditional routes for a woman - marry, have children, and let the men rule.

My Lords, do whatever you wish. As for me, I shall do no otherwise than pleases me.
Elizabeth to Parliament on the succession issue

She made the world stop and take notice of her. "She is only a woman, only mistress of half an island," marvelled Pope Sixtus V, "and yet she makes herself feared by Spain, by France, by the Empire, by all".

Her reign became the idealized Gold Standard.

Elizabeth was also a great patron of the arts. During her reign, such greats as Shakespeare, Marlowe and Spencer rose, and literacy flourished.

She encouraged great scientific minds like Sir Francis Bacon and Dr. John Dee. And encouraged exploration by Sir Franscis Drake and Sir Walter Raleigh, among others.

I try to be true to myself while striving to reach all of my goals in life without bending to the cries of society telling me I have to conform to their ways and norms. That includes living a goth lifestyle.

Elizabeth I, painted after 1620, during the first revival of interest in her reign.
Time sleeps on her right and Death looks over her left shoulder;
two cherubs hold the crown above her head

Goth Challenge, Day 11

Day 11 – Is Goth a lifestyle for you?

This is a really dumb question. It's the Goth Challenge, so I think it's a foregone conclusion that anyone participating is a Goth, and therefore, yes, the Goth lifestyle is for them.

Really, what is a Goth lifestyle? Does it mean living like a Goth? How exactly do Goths live?

Yes, my hair is dyed black with white streaks instead of my natural dark blonde.
Yes, I dress in mostly black and white - that's how I'm most comfortable.
Yes, I often wear accessories with bats, skulls, coffins, spiders/webs, etc.
Yes, my makeup is pale with dark accents.

Me

Yes, I primarily listen to Goth music.
Yes, I read Victorian literature.
Yes, my home is full of Halloween-themed housewares. My plates have spiderwebs, bats and skulls. I have skeleton-hand salad utensils and monster finger knives. My book shelfs have macabre dolls perched among the tomes. My walls have Pre-Raphaelite art hanging on them as well as paintings done by my grandfather.
Yes, I watch horror and sci-fi movies and television.
Yes, I participate in Goth communities online.
Yes, I do like going to the Goth club - when I have a sitter.
Yes, my favorite drink is really the Corpse Reviver #2, which combines absinthe and gin.
Yes, I did visit 13th century ruins on my honeymoon.

Kilmallock, Ireland

But...

I do have a normal full-time job.
I do participate with the PTA at my kids' school.
I do like some main-stream TV shows and movies.
I do have friends who are not Goth. In fact, my husband is not Goth.
I do normal family things with my children and husband.
I sleep in a normal queen-sized bed and not a coffin (though the coffin/couch/bed is very cool, and I would love to have one)
I drink things other than absinthe and gin.
I do go out to bars that are not Goth.
I live in a normal, town-home community.
I do sometimes hang out with my kids' frieds' very normal moms.
I do enjoy watching sports, like hockey and American football, and sometimes soccer or hurling.

So... Do I live a Goth lifestyle? I don't know. I am part of the Goth subculture. But I am also a mom, a wife, a full-time employee, a neighbor, a sports fan... People are not one-dimentional. We have many, many facets to our personalities, and therefore our lives flow in interesting ways that don't necessarily mesh with our chosen subculture. I think that a lifestyle is really just the way in which each person lives their life comfortably as themself. You can be part of a subculture, and live accordingly, but I guarantee not one person can fully eschew all facets of a conventional lifestyle.

Goth Challenge Day 10

Day 10 – What do you love and hate about the subculture?

Victorian clothes by Drac-in-a-Box

There are so very many things that I love about the Goth subculture!

I love the aesthetics:
I particularly love clothes in gorgeous Victorian styles with decadent fabrics like velvet, satin, silk and lace. There is something just hauntingly romantic about Victorian clothing, not revealing, yet sexy and flattering. And to wear Victorian outfits and pull it off, you have to be confident and eccentric, which most Goths are.

Neo-Victorian Clotes by Drac-in-a-Box

I also love the shoes - chunky Mary Janes, platform boots, Victorian boots...
And the makeup - dramatic and bold.
And the accessories - bats, skeletons, spiders, coffins - for your hair, or on your jewelry, or as your purse...
And I love the music (see Goth Challenge, Day 7).
And the literature.

I could go on for hours about what I love about the Goth subculture. ^o^

But what do I hate?
Within the subculture, I hate the cattiness and "Gothier than thou" attitude. It's not a competition. Every one has their own style and comfort levels. There is no reason to pick on others. Now, being "Gothier than thou," when dripping with scarcasm and not serious meanness, is another thing, and that doesn't bother me.

I also really hate the stigma that society in general places on the Goth subculture. Like how any time there is an unbelievable violent act, like a school shooting, the media starts on about how the perpetrators were "goth" and how dangerous it is to let your kids be goth. I'm not going to shoot up a school. I don't worship the devil. I'm not really evil. How a person looks is irrelevant to what they're really like on the inside - the truly evil tend to look just like everyone else.

The song, Leave Me Alone by the Cruxshadows samples  clips from the many news shows covering the Columbine shooting and blaming the Goth subculture. Also, the lyrics pretty much sum up how I feel about main-stream society's evaluation of Goths:

Leave me alone, I'm a freak
Leave me alone, make it easy for yourself
Everywhere I go they all stare
I don't understand why they care
They stare at me all in black
And when I turn they stare at my back
All these things can't,
All these things don't...
Let me go.
Leave me alone, I'm a freak
Leave me alone, make it easy for yourself
Everywhere I go they all stare
I don't understand why they care
And I don't want to be part of your world
And I don't want to see the things you see
Can't you understand how I feel?
Can't you let me be?

Goth Challenge, Day 9

Day 9 – What genre of music do you dislike?

This one is easy. I absolutely cannot stand country or rap. I also don't like R&B, pop, or emo.

shudder...

Country just sets my nerves on edge. The whiny, nasally, twanginess makes me cringe. I truly hate the sound of this genre. Deeper, I also dislike the associations that go with this genre of music. I don't like Rednecks or Redneck humor. I have no problem with patriotism and love of one's country, but I do have a problem when it is presented in a way that is "us against them," or involves guns, or right wing propaganda - I have a very deep dislike of right-wing politics. I also dislike how often the topics of cheating spouses, guns, and fights are involved in songs. There is also a rather misogynistic quality about a lot of country music that bothers me.

That said, I do like some of the root music that gave rise to country. I do like the blues and some jazz, as well as the Old World folk.

yeah...

Rap - bothers me on several levels. I don't find the sound appealing in the least. In some cases, I can't understand how it qualifies as music and not just spoken word with a beat. But what I find most disturbing is the themes of violence, hatred and misogyny. I don't understand the glorification of a criminal or degenerate lifestyle. It does its fans a disservice by screwing up their values.

I realize that rap is a sub-genre of hip hop, and in general, I don't have a problem with most hip hop. I wouldn't choose to listen to it, but most of it doesn't offend me. I even kinda like the some of the old school hip hop artists like Run DMC and the Beastie Boys. And of the new style, I kinda like Eminem...

meh.

R&B music just isn't my style. Yes, some is beautiful, but just doesn't do it for me in any way. I have no strong objections to it though.

chewy and flavorless.

Pop annoys me to no end. Most of it is mass-produced crap designed specifically to sell records, not out of any artistic integrity. Most of it sounds the same and has the same themes. Listening to pop is like drinking rail gin instead of the good stuff, like Hendricks. No, thank you.

cringe...

Then there's emo... Let's get this straight right off the bat: Emo IS NOT the same as goth! Yes, both have roots in the punk movement, but from vastly divergent parts of punk. Goth came from the 70s-80s London punk scene. Emo was born from the 80s DC hardcore scene. Very different roots. And the music sounds very different. Sadly, some of the misguided fans have usurped some aspects of goth fashion, but they mixed it in with stolen bits of hipster and scene fashion as well.

Back to the point. I can't stand emo music. There is a discordance in the sound that makes me twitch. And the lyrics tend to be the introspections of manic depressives (sorry Matty). I've tried to wrap my head around this music, as my husband does greatly enjoy it (but thankfully doesn't embrace the terrible emo fashion), but try as I might, I just can't.

Goth Challenge, Day 8

Day 8 – What's your worst and best experience with non-Goths?

What a weird topic. To me it sounds as if the creator if this challenge assumed that all Goths live in some Goth commune with little contact with the outside world; as if dealing with non-Goths was some sort of rare occurrence...

But in reality, 98% of my interactions in real life are with non-Goths. Online, I do have a solid group of goth friends and groups with whom I interact more than with non-Goths, but even then, my online life is a small percentage of my daily life.
 

Me, in work attire, with bat accessories

 My worst experience was by far the nonacceptance of my gothiness by my ex, which I have discussed in previous posts (Goth Challenge, Day 2 and Day 3). I have experienced some minor prejudice toward my being Goth from my supervisor at work. He once attempted to give me a slightly less than stellar mark on my review because of my wardrobe. After a heated discussion where I pointed out that I always follow the office dress code, and wear professional attire and that he can't sanction me just because I wear primarily black. He then tried to remark about my hair and accessories. And again, I made it clear that my hair color isn't extreme. There are many women here with black hair, and white streaks - granted, their streaks are from aging, and mine are by choice, but he can't possibly penalize me for that. And as for accessories, how is my wearing jewelry with spiders or bats any different than the receptionist who wears jewelry with cats and ladybugs? I also pointed out that the client has absolutely no problem with how I appear, and that my work is always praised by the client, so trying to penalize me on such a petty matter could definitely be construed as prejudicial. While he chaffed at me being right, he did concede, and we have never again discussed my personal style.

My favorite earrings, worn above
by Alchemy Gothic

Other than that, I am lucky in that I have never been in a situation where I've had to experience extreme prejudice or Goth-bashing. I understand in the UK, the prejudice experienced by Goths is a somewhat regular occurrence, and is extremely hateful. The worst case being the brutal murder of Sophie Lancaster.

Because of the ambivalence toward most sub-cultures here, I can't think of a shining moment of interacting with non-Goths that bears mentioning. I do have the occasional "normal" person compliment me on either my hair, style or confidence that allows me to wear what I want and not care how others judge; but that's not so remarkable. I guess, the lack of bad moments - the general acceptance and lack of prejudice toward Goths - would really be the best experience in non-Goth interactions.

Goth Challenge, Day 7

Day 7 – Ten of your favourite goth bands.

Normally I like making lists. I'm a list person. I even make fancy printed lists for my kids so they know what to pack when we travel. But I hate making top ten lists! I don't like being limited to just ten. And my musical taste is so very influenced by my moods - my list of ten today would be a different ten tomorrow...

Without further ado, here is my list of ten of my favorite goth bands that I'm enjoying on my ipod today (in alphabetical order because I'm OCD like that):

1. The Birthday Massacre - they make me happy. My kids like them too. One of my favorite things is catching my daughter singing along to them.

2. Clan of Xymox - I particularly like listening to them at work for some reason. 

3. The Cure - They really are a form of nostalgia for me. The Disintegration tour was my first big concert.

4. The Damned - In 2003, shortly after Matty and I were married, we saw The Damned on the Warped Tour. I went to the merch table to pick up a shirt, and lo and behold, Captain Sensible was manning the table. I bought my shirt, then he proceeded to hit on me in front of my husband. I had to turn him down, but he did sign my shirt :) They are touring this fall - I hope I can line up a sitter because I would love to go to this show!

5. Fields of the Nephilim - I just love Carl McCoy's voice...

6. London After Midnight - I love their driving and heavy beats. And I love their dark, witty and often political lyrics. Plus, Sean Brennan is delicious eye candy...

7. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - I love their sound, his voice, the lyrics...

8. Rasputina - I love their use of cello, and Melora's voice is fabulous.

9. Wumpscut - I love their sound.

10 Xmal Deutschland - I do love this band. I had them heavier in my rotation today because of a conversation in one of the Facebook goth groups in which I participate discussing favorite female vocalists from the 80s. I said Siouxsie and Xmal Deutchland's Anja Huwe.