The Ear Piercing Saga, or: How Doing the Right Thing Reinforces That You're a "Freak"

My daughter came home from school one day in December and announced that her best friend was getting her ears pierced for Christmas and mentioned that she thought that was something she would like to do as well.

My criteria for ear piercing is that she be responsible enough to take care of her piercings properly. After some discussion, I felt she was ready. (This was also discussed with my husband, who did have some reservations, but didn't stand in the way). I let her know that if she wanted her ears pierced, that could be her Christmas present from me, and that she had until the week before Christmas to decide (leaving me enough time to get her something else if she opted against it).

While she was thinking about whether or not she was too scared to go through with it, I began to research places in the area for ear piercing children (she is nearly 8). I already knew that I was not going to take her to a kiosk or shop in the mall where teens wield the equivalent of a staple gun to puncture the lobes of their willing victims. Having several friends who are tattoo artists and piercers, I've long been aware that the needle is a much better option than the gun for all piercing. First of all, it is more sanitary, the piercer has been better educated, and the jewelry used is better.

First, I called the mother of the best friend. She wasn't sure where she was going to take her daughter, but she agreed with me that she was uncomfortable taking her to the mall for ear piercing. We agreed to both do some research and let the other know if we found an acceptable place for the girls to get their ears done.

I called close to 20 places in the area looking for someone who pierced children younger than 16. Most places told me to call our pediatrician and get it done in the doctor's office. Some doctors do piercing for infants and children, ours, however, does not. Besides, doctor's offices aren't really the optimal place to pick out jewelry. Finally, I found a tattoo parlor downtown that does pierce children's ears - provided I bring her birth certificate and my ID to prove that she is my child, and then sign some paper work stating my permission and understanding of the procedure. A bit of a pain, but I understand the need for it all - again, a protection that the mall doesn't provide...

I called the other mother and let her know what I found. She sounded pleased.

This past weekend, my friend and I took my daughter to the tattoo parlor get her ears pierced. (My friend came to keep an eye on my son in the waiting area and to provide moral support to my daughter.) She was so very excited! She got all dressed up in a "cool" outfit that she deemed appropriate for the place and the event - a black long sleeved tee-shirt with a metallic pink skull and cross bones, black lace skirt, black leggings and her purple metallic boots. She picked out pinkish opal chips for her first earrings. While we waited our turn, she flipped through the tattoo artists' portfolio books and admired their work.

Once it was her turn, we went back to the piercer's room where she explained step by step to my daughter what she was going to do. As she set up, my daughter and I amused ourselves by reading the Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse poster hanging on the wall. The piercer told us that more than a few moms were offended by the poster in the room. I was baffled - did they not realize that they were in a tattoo shop?

The actual piercing was quick and easy. My daughter didn't even whimper. And she was so very happy and proud of herself when it was done. She couldn't wait to go to school and show everyone her new earrings. She also called all of her relatives to tell them all about it.




New Earrings


Monday comes, and she goes to school. It turns out that the best friend also had her ears pierced over the weekend... At Claire's. A lot of the classmates thought it was really cool that my daughter got her ears pierced at a tattoo shop.

Tuesday comes. My daughter tells me that some of the kids told their moms, and that my actions with my daughter were frowned upon. Apparently it isn't appropriate to take children to a tattoo parlor for ear piercing - it's just not a good environment for them. Never mind that it is safer, more sanitary, and done by a professional...

Honestly, I don't care what they think. I'm already the Morticia Addams of the PTA. And regardless that my actions were the right ones, it just made my freak flag fly just a bit higher and more vigorously.

Goth Challenge, Day 23 (part 2)

Day 23 – Your favourite artist or photographer.

Ophelia by Hughes

I've decided to split this into two separate posts - favorite artist/photographer (more  modern) and favorite artist/art movement (classical). I've already written about my favorite contemporary photographer/artist in Goth Challenge, Day 23 (part 1).

My favorite art movement is the Pre-Raphaelite movement. This is considered by many art historians to be the first avant-garde movement. It began in either 1848 or 1849 when a group of English painters, poets and critics founded the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood (PRB). The founding members were  William Holman Hunt, John Everett Millais and Dante Gabriel Rossetti. Later additions to the Brotherhood included William Michael Rossetti, James Collinson, Frederic George Stephens and Thomas Woolner. Other artists, though not part of the PRB, were also associated with the movement, including: Ford Madox Brown and Charles Collins, the poet Christina Rossetti, the artist and social critic John Ruskin, the painter-poet William Bell Scott, and the sculptor poet John Lucas Tupper. Later additions to the Pre-Raphaelite circle include J. W. Inchnold, Edward Burne-Jones, William Morris and even J. M. Whistler.

Ophelia by Millais

They rebeled against the standards of art being taught at the time. They wanted to make their art more detailed, with intense colors and complex compositions with a more realistic represenatation of life and nature. They also believed all arts were closely related and encouraged artists and writers to practice both art forms - though the only one successful at both was Dante Gabriel Rosetti. And because of this interrelation of the arts, they drew much of their subject matter from literature, such as Shakespeare, Keats, Tennyson, and the Bible.

The Lady of Shallot by Waterhouse

I think it is this intermingling of literature and visual arts that is part of what drew me in at a young age. The first Pre-Rahpaelite images I saw were in my mother's college art books, and the subject matter came from Tennyson's Idylls of the King and Hamlet. These pictures were stunning illustrations of the Arthurian legends and Shakespear's and characters that I already knew well.

The first to really catch my eye were various renditions of Ophelia, and The Lady of Shallot. But my favorite was Dante's Dream, by Dante Gabriel Rosetti.

Dante's Dream by Rosetti

I truly love almost every Pre-Raphaelite painting I see; but I seem to gravitate most to Waterhouse. I love his Shakespeare paintings, those based on Tennyson and mythological characters. It is as if he plucked images straight from my mind.

There is, however, one particular Pre-Raphaelite painting that I hate - The Scapegoat by William Holman Hunt. I saw this one in my mom's art books as a child, and had an instant negative feeling toward it. Something about this image has always made me feel ill.

The Scapegoat by Hunt

As I mentioned earlier, the Pre-Raphaelites also embraced the literary arts. My favorite poet is Christina Rosetti, and my favorite of her poems is The Goblin Market. I also particularly love her Monna Innominata: a Sonnet of Sonnets - in fact, I used parts of this poem in my wedding vows.

Goblin Market - poem by Christina Rosetti,
illustration by Dante Gabriel Rosetti

Spooky Kids' Movies that Have Better Messages than Disney Movies

These days, Disney has a choke-hold on children's movies. All little girls get sucked into the Plastic Pink Princess Phase. And the little boys are all Buzz, Woody or Lightening McQueen.

I personally think the Princesses are evil. For the most part they are all beautiful teens who can't seem to cope with life unless the handsome prince comes to save them. Everything revolves around finding the right boy who will make your life happy - and to do so, you need to be beautiful. Not a message I want my daughter growing up believing.

The boy characters aren't that much better.

Disney movies are the gateway to a yuppie, Stepford existence. Everyone is mostly white, rich, and tends to get what they want. And the bad guys are the ones who dare not to conform to society.

I have always been a fan of horror/monster movies. My mother tells me that when I was two, I saw The Wizard of Oz for the first time and though the Wicked Witch of the West scared me, I would not let her turn it off. And so it began...

As a child my aunt used to take me to see Godzilla films, and watched many of the Harryhausen and other creature features with me. I also used to watch Hitchcock and the Twilight Zone with my grandmother. By the time I was in 4th grade, I was sneaking and watching slasher movies, like A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Naturally, growing up in a home filled with bats, skulls, spider webs and Living Dead Dolls - and a sizeable collection of horror movies - my children wish to watch scary things as well. Obviously, most horror films are not appropriate for the younger children, so here is a list of those I feel are appropriate for younger audiences and won't upset my children too badly.

Better still, these spooky movies have a much better message than the Disney movies. The characters come from the fringes, they are smart, resourceful and believe in themselves. And often, it is the girl saving the day.

*Note: I am a bit lenient when it comes to ratings. I have no problem letting my little ones watch some PG-13 films.

When my children were approximately one, I began showing them Nightmare Before Christmas. Needless to say, it became an instant favorite. They have both grown up with a love for Jack Skellington. In fact, my son's first year of trick or treating, he dressed as Jack, and my daughter as Sally.

In this film, Jack nearly allows his arrogance to destroy life as we know it. It is Sally, one of the average village citizens, who saves the day. She summons up the courage to face Oogy Boogy and rescue Santa. Sally's resourcefulness and bravery save Jack from himself.

Keeping with the Tim Burton stop-motion animation theme, they soon discovered - and loved - The Corpse Bride. While not as amazing as Nightmare, this movie is a lot of fun and has many loveable dead characters, as well as some wonderful Danny Elfman music.

In this film, it is the seemingly rich aristocracy who causes the problems. Victoria's family is greedy and schemes to have her marry Victor for his family's money. Lord Barkis is also motivated by greed. Victor is rather spineless and does what he's told by mostly everyone; and when he decides not to listen, he's sneaky. It's Emily, the Corpse Bride, who overcomes all the awfulness that's happened to her - being killed, having Victor run out on her - to show true compassion and to save everyone with selfless sacrifice.

A bit scarier is Neil Gaiman's Coraline, another stop-motion animation film, done in a dark style like the two previous movies. Coraline is not for children who scare easily or are prone to nightmares from things they've watched. Children of some friends have had issues with this movie until they were closer to 8.

Coraline is a unique girl who moves to a new home and is left to her own resources while her parents are consumed by their work. She is lured into a trap by the Other Mother, but rather than succumb to her will, Coraline fights back. Her bravery in the face of mortal peril and her ability to outwit the Other Mother not only saves her life, but also sets free the spirits of the Other Mother's previous victims.

Another Neil Gaiman story made movie (by the Jim Henson Company) that we love is Mirrormask. Helena Campbell is sucked into a creepy world of light and shadows, where everyone wears masks, and fantastical creatures roam. She is mistaken for the Shadow Queen's daughter who has stolen the magical charm of the Queen of Light to take Helena's place in the real world. Helena must find the charm, escape the Queen of Shadows and restore life to the Queen of Light. Like the three previous heroines, Helena uses her brains and bravery to save the day. She doesn't need her male companion, Valentine, to save her; in fact, she saves him.

The Jim Henson Company also made two other magically creepy children's movies: Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal.

In Labyrinth, Sarah starts off as a self-important, angsty teen who throws a tantrum and wishes her baby brother into the hands of the Goblin King. She must go "through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered"  and  fight her way to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child. This adventure helps her find herself and grow up when she realizes that she controls her own destiny.

The females are not the protagonist(s) in The Dark Crystal, but without them, Jen would never compete his mission of healing the Dark Crystal and bringing peace to the land. Kira is a loving, kind and generous spirit; and Aughra is wise and brave. The combination of these two females and their strengths are what guide Jen through the perils thrown at him by the Skeksis and enable him to fulfill the prophecy.

These movies are very imaginative, artistic and somewhat scary. They all have strong female characters and a better message for children than those simpering twit Disney Princesses.

Goth Challenge, Day 23 (part 1)

Day 23 – Your favourite artist or photographer.

I've decided to split this into two separate posts - favorite artist/photographer (more  modern) and favorite artist/art movement (classical).

My favorite contemporary photographer/artist is Darla Teagarden. The lovely and talented Ms. Teagarden has lived an interesting and eccentric life, and her experiences combined with her natural talent have created an outstanding mixed media artist.

Darla Teagarden

A bit about Darla Teagarden (from her official bio):

• Darla began as stylist in San Francisco in the 1990s and then for FAD Magazine in Île-de-France.
• She became a historical cabaret dancer for the Goethe Institute of San Francisco portraying a Wiemar dancer named, Anita Berber. These series of productions, Staring German singer Nina Hagen, were choreographed by Martha Graham, Marni Wood, and directed by Voluptuous Panic author, Mel Gordan.
• Darla was also a part-time production designer, vintage clothing buyer , published writer, a part-time model in both the United States and Germany.
• In 2003 she delved into mixed media on canvas showing in New Orleans' French Quarter, New York's Woodstock Art Fest and Austin, Texas Continental Gallery, Gallery Lombardi and Guadalupe Gallery. 
• By March 2007, she was lead to photography and began mixing her trades and interests into one medium. 

Doll Maker, Christy Kane by Darla Teagarden

• Each image tells a personal dream - story but also leaves the viewer room to impart their own experience and ideas...a cross between perceptual and conceptual.
• Her images hark back to souvenir portraiture, theatrical vignettes and even the art of window display.  
• These scenes are accomplished largely by hand: drawn backgrounds, painted mythical body, and paper clothing or up-cycled materials 
• Her images are primarily inspired by children's literature, her work in theatre arts, pop surrealism, and in part, the Southern Gothic genre. 

Liz McGrath, Artist and
Singer for Miss Derringer
by Darla Teagarden

I have had the pleasure of knowing Darla Teagarden for the better part of the past decade. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever known. She is also a caring and supportive friend.

It was an exciting time when she began mixing photography with her other artistic skills. Those of us who knew her got to see her talent blossoming and we all knew it wouldn't be long before she'd become a well-known name in the art world. Sure enough, she's been appearing in art galleries, magazines and Web sites with more frequency and each time with a higher profile.

In the fall of 2007, I visited Darla in Austin with some mutual friends and was fortunate enough to have some pictures done by her.

Take some time and peruse the beauty on her Web site: www.darlateagarden.com - you won't regret it!

Goth Children's Books

As Halloween approaches, many bookstores stock up on the more spooky children's books. This is a great time to augment the bookshelves of your baby bats at home.

My children are 6 1/2 and 4 1/2, so we don't have many past the 4th grade level yet (aside from my large personal collection of books). This post contains books good for up to a first grade level (at least in our house) to read on their own.

I've ordered the books from easiest reading to more advanced.

My youngest loves reading Monster Town by Ryan Heska. This book follow a young vampire boy on a tour through his home, Monster Town. The colorful illustrations depict the inhabitants, like the Ghost Writers at the news paper, Dr. Mummy the vetrinarian, and the Giant Squid, proprietor of the local cafe.

"In the cold gray tomb, there was a gravestone and a black lagoon, and a picture of ...." Goodnight Goon by Michael Rex is a playful parody on the chidren's classic, Goodnight Moon, in which a young werewolf is getting ready for bed surrounded by classic horror icons. The illustrations are make what may initially seem scary to children something fun.

Another playfully dark Michael Rex book is his parody of Runaway Bunny, called Runaway Mummy. It shows that even scary monsters like mummies can be a loving and good family.

The Spider and the Fly illustrated by Tony DiTerlizzi (author of the Spidewick Chronicles). The book is made to look like silent black and white film set in a Victorian doll house. The tale by Mary Howitt is timeless and teaches a good lesson, but the illustrations are what really make it engaging. My children have spent hours just looking at the pictures in this book.

Step right up and enter the Creature Carnival by Marilyn Singer and Gris Grimly. This trip through the traveling side show introduces children to fantastic mythological and fabled creatures, such as the Lochness Monster, Sirens, the Minotaur and Anansi. The story and pictures have a playful yet macabre air about them. There are more Gris Grimly books in my children's future.

Hipira the Little Vampire by Katsuhiro Otomo is a lot of fun. This book is presented in comic book style and contains several stories in which Hipira, a  little vampire boy and his best friend, a sprite named Soul get into all sorts of harmless mischief. While there is no real message in this book, it is pure fun, and a great way to introduce your little ones to vampires.

Cinderella Skeleton by Robert D. San Souci takes the classic tale of Cinderella casts it with the undead and transports it to a graveyard setting. The story is presented in a collection of sonnets and shows the skeletons can be as wonderful as you and me.

Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich and Frankenstein Takes the Cake, both by Adam Rex. These whimsical books are filled with short stories, poems and songs all with classic monster themes and accompanied by original artwork. When we first got this, we had to read it to Lily every night for months. Even now, three years later, she still frequently reads this book before bed.

Goth Challenge, Day 22

Day 22 – If you could attend any Goth event what would it be?

Wave Gotik Treffen

First and foremost, is the music. Over a hundred bands from the various Goth sub-genres and the opportunity to see more than a few. This in itself is exciting enough for me to want to go.

But there is so much more! There are the fashion events, the litterarty events, alternative markets, DJs... Leipzig turns into one giant Goth community for a few days. Just thinking about going to this makes drool... I was so excited for and envious of my friend Carmilla Voiez when she got to attend WGT this year.

One day, when I have money to get a new goth wardrobe, and can afford travel to and accomodations is Leipzig and tickets to WGT, I will go. Unless I miraculously come into some windfall of money, I don't see this happening any time soon. Until then, I will just have to dream of it and live vicarously through friends lucky enough to go.

Goth Challenge, Day 21

Day 21 – What body mod do you have or have you considered?

For some reason, people are often surprised to find out that other than normal pierced ears, I have no body modifications.

I have considered several, but for various reasons, never got them done.

I would like to get some tattoos. I just never seem to have the money for one. Yes, I probably should have gotten my ink before having kids, but I wasn't ready. As a teen, I worked in a nursing home. I saw many World War II veterans with their old India blue tattoos that have since turned into disfigured blue blobs on their flaccid skin. I just couldn't wrap my mind around getting a tattoo for fear of what it would look like when I'm old. Now, I'm not so concerned with that - especially since removal techniques keep improving. I'm sure that if I got a tattoo now, and in 30 years decide I don't like how it's aging, there will be improved technology to remove it.

My little girl wanted to get me a tattoo of bats and the moon for my birthday last year. She knew that's what I wanted. It was such a sweet gesture. Yes, I want a moon with bats tattooed on my back. And one day, I will have this done. Just not any time soon. Perhaps after we are done paying for child care.

I've also considered several piercings. I first thought of a small nose piercing. But I decided that would be too much with my glasses (I will not switch to contacts - I tried, and hated it). And I've considered nipple piercings. I think they are lovely, and they could be lots of fun. But I'm concerned about healing and whether they will be obvious under work clothes... I still may do this, but haven't fully decided.

Other than those, I am not really interested in other body modifications. Stretched ears look nice on some people, but it's not for me. Same with other piercings. I'm not into the more extreme modifications. I just don't find them appealing in any way.

Goth Challenge, Day 20

Day 20 – If you could dye your hair any colour what would it be?

If I could? Huh? I do. All the time. I haven't seen my natural colour in oh... 18 years.

I've been various shades of blonde (I am blonde, but an ashy blonde).

I've been various shades of red.

I had platinum blonde with a red streak.

I've had temporary blue streaks.

I've been red with orange, and red with blonde.

I'm currently black with white.

I sometimes wish I could have some bright blue in my hair, but that would be pushing it too far in the office.

I also have a collection of wigs in fun colors for club going - not that I get to the club much these days.

I even let my kids (ages 4 1/2 and 6 1/2) have color streaks in their hair. My son has only had blue. My daughter has had pink, red, blue and purple.

Goth Challenge, Day 19

Day 19 – Share beauty advise and take a photo of your make up.

Beauty advice? I don't know that I should be advising anyone, but I will tell you what I do.

Quick note: I really try hard to use natural and cruelty free products.

First and foremost: STAY THE HELL OUT OF THE SUN! I try to avoid the sun like the plague. I'm a blond with pale skin. I don't tan, I fry. When I do have to be outside, I use very high SPF sunscreen, and I carry it with me to reapply later (I really like the Burt's Bees Sunscreen). I also try to stay in the shade whenever possible - and sometimes carry an umbrella for shade. (One of these days I will find the parasol of my dreams and get it).

The second most important thing for me is moisturizer. I have very dry skin, so moisturizing is essential. I used to use the Burt's Bees Marshmallow Vanishing  Creme, but it was discontinued. I couldn't find any other moisturizer of theirs that worked as well and was gentle to my sensitive skin. Now, I use the Yes to Blueberries Daily Repairing Moisturizer with SPF 30.

Now that I've mentioned the two most important things, I'll walk through my daily routine.

In the morning, I wash my face with either the Burt's Bees Radiance Facial Cleanser, or the Yes to Blueberries Brightening Facial Towelettes. Then I moisturize.

I typically wait a while before putting on any makeup. There are two reasons for this: 1. I like to let the moisturizer and/or sunscreen have time to really sink in, and 2. the DC area is rather humid and nasty in the summer, and I prefer to wait until I'm at work before putting on makeup so it doesn't melt off of my face before I get  there.

I use different foundation for work and play. I have yet to find a decent, natural toned foundation that is natural and cruelty free that works with my skin and doesn't make me break out horribly. I tried the Bare Essential stuff, and it was terrible for me. So, in this area, I have sacrificed my principles and use L'Oreal Magic Smooth Souffle in Light Ivory. When I'm going out and want to look extra pale, I use the Medusa's Makeup Geisha foundation.

Eye makeup is my favorite part. I absolutely love the Medusa's Makeup eye makeup. I use their eye dusts. My favorite colors are: Full Moon (an iridescent purplish whitish color), Blow (white), Helter Skelter (a metallic bluish black) and Black Sabbath.

Once I have my eye shadow on, I apply the black liquid eyeliner. Oh how I love black eye liner! I have tried pencils, but they never go on as smoothly nor are as black as the liquid liner. I've been experimenting with various brands lately to find the right combination of applicator and eyeliner. Sadly, I have not found any black liquid eyeliner that is natural or cruelty free (if you know one, please post about it in the comments).

Next comes mascara. I'm fortunate that I have very long lashes, so all I really need is just some very black mascara.

Last is the lip colour. I really love the Medusa's Makeup lip glosses.

Now that it's all applied, I need a place to go...

Goth Challenge, Day 18

Day 18 – Worst hair experience

I've had quite a few hair mishaps.

My hair is thick, course, somewhere between curly and wavy, and gets very frizzy when it's humid.

In the 80s, everyone had bad hair as there were no really good hair products out there to do the things we wanted with our hair. So we fried, burnt and tortured our tresses.  Curly and big was in. And like I mentioned, mine is between curly and wavy. I wanted nice curls that would be easy to maintain. So, I got a perm...

Yeah, bad idea. My hair turned out looking like Rosanne Rosannadanna. (I don't have any pictures of this in my house. My parents probably do, but they live 250 miles away.)

Gilda Radner as Rosanne Rosannadanna on SNL

My mom sent me straight to the pool with instructions to keep my hair in the chlorine all day in hopes of relaxing the perm. It didn't help much. So, she helped me iron my hair to straighten it. I remember we used to use waxed paper to help keep it straight and frizz free...

Then in 1984, I decided I wanted an a-symmetrical bob. This would have been an adorable style - if my hair were straight and manageable. Sadly, it was not. And this was a disaster. I tried a few other short styles, but none worked. So, I grew it out. And by 1987, I had typical, bad 14 year old hair...

You'd think after those failed experiments, I'd have learned to never try a short cut - especially with bangs - again, but you'd be wrong. Yes, a mere three years ago, I decided that hair products have come a long way, and I also had a fancy new Chi flat iron, so I went for a China Doll cut... um, bad move.

That was a huge pain in the ass to maintain and I hated how I looked. So I tried letting it dry naturally... again, ick!

Once it reached chin length again, I was fine. And I solemnly swear to never cut it that short again!

Goth Challenge, Day 17

Day 17 – Your favourite Goth brand

I don't really have one. I'm not one of those people who is ruled by brand names - especially with clothes. If I see something that I like, and it fits, (and I have the money) I will get it, regardless of the brand or the store.

But Goth brands... in general this concept seems wrong. For many of us, starting out, there were no Goth brands. We put together out ensembles from pieces found in a variety of places, including thrift shops, costume shops, estate sales, etc. Or, we learned to make our own pieces of clothing, jewelry, etc.

Granted, I wouldn't know the first thing about making my own clothes (though I do hope to one day) - I am more of the type to make thrift shop, eBay, or estate sale items more gothy by altering them or accessorizing. I have, and sometimes still do, make my own jewelry.

I also purchase from friends who have small businesses of hand-crafting items of clothing or accessories. I think it is very important to support these small businesses. This is where the creative talent thrives - it is these designers who spawn new trends in subculture style. Buying custom pieces also ensures that when you go to the club, there is no one else there wearing the same outfit.

Necklace by Glitterfist

Buying off-the-shelf, mass produced Goth is somewhat anathema to those of us who consider ourselves "elders." It smacks of laziness and is uninspired. It shows no real commitment to being Goth. Anyone can pop into a Hot Topic and be a Goth poseur. Dressing in this mass-produced garbage and calling yourself a Goth is like drinking only Budweiser and calling yourself a beer connoisseur.

Goth Challenge, Day 16

Day 16 – What's the most casual you've ever dressed?

In what sense? In college, I worked at a local bar until 3 am. I'd get home, sleep for a few hours then roll out of bed and head to my 8 am classes in my pjs.

When I was with my ex, I wasn't able to dress gothy, so I often just wore jeans and a tee shirt.

When I was pregnant with my children, there weren't good goth options in maternity clothes, and after a bit, all I cared for was comfort, so I lived in yoga pants, a tee shirt and a belted, long cardigan.

Since getting back to being myself, the most casual I dress is usually a black skirt and a black tee shirt. Though I have been known to walk my daughter to school in my pjs if it's a day I'm not going to the office.

I'm really more about being comfortable than really caring how fancy or gothy I look. As long as I feel like me, I'm all good.

Me in casual clothes at a party in Seattle in 2005

Me very hung over and casual in a rental car in Austin in 2007

Goth Challenge, Day 15

Day 15 – Your favourite or most expensive item in your wardrobe.

This is a sad topic for me...

I got rid of most of my favorite clothes after having children. Since then, my body shape keeps changing, and I haven't had the money to get the wardrobe I want as it all goes to child care. And when I do get to buy clothes, they need to be work appropriate.

When I no longer have to pay what would equal a second rent payment each month for child care, and have a little spending money, I am going to get some fun goth clothes from Drac-in-a-Box and Azrael's Accomplice Designs.

Until then... well, this is what I have...

I particularly like this dress, which was a gift from a friend. It's fun. I love the purple and black tulle underneath. and the clips are a nice touch. I have worn this not only to the Goth club, but also out for fancy restaurant dates.

The most expensive dress is the one I wore to my brother's wedding last fall. I rather like how it's like a Gothified 50s housewife kind of look. I like wearing my black pearls with it.

But my most favorite thing in my closet is the pair of Victorian boots. I used to wear these almost daily. The heel on one broke, but I had it fixed and was happily wearing them again for a while. Then I broke my foot. Since then, wearing heels has been very difficult. I hope the pain eases soon as I really love these boots!