Goth Challenge, Day 18

Day 18 – Worst hair experience

I've had quite a few hair mishaps.

My hair is thick, course, somewhere between curly and wavy, and gets very frizzy when it's humid.

In the 80s, everyone had bad hair as there were no really good hair products out there to do the things we wanted with our hair. So we fried, burnt and tortured our tresses.  Curly and big was in. And like I mentioned, mine is between curly and wavy. I wanted nice curls that would be easy to maintain. So, I got a perm...

Yeah, bad idea. My hair turned out looking like Rosanne Rosannadanna. (I don't have any pictures of this in my house. My parents probably do, but they live 250 miles away.)

Gilda Radner as Rosanne Rosannadanna on SNL

My mom sent me straight to the pool with instructions to keep my hair in the chlorine all day in hopes of relaxing the perm. It didn't help much. So, she helped me iron my hair to straighten it. I remember we used to use waxed paper to help keep it straight and frizz free...

Then in 1984, I decided I wanted an a-symmetrical bob. This would have been an adorable style - if my hair were straight and manageable. Sadly, it was not. And this was a disaster. I tried a few other short styles, but none worked. So, I grew it out. And by 1987, I had typical, bad 14 year old hair...

You'd think after those failed experiments, I'd have learned to never try a short cut - especially with bangs - again, but you'd be wrong. Yes, a mere three years ago, I decided that hair products have come a long way, and I also had a fancy new Chi flat iron, so I went for a China Doll cut... um, bad move.

That was a huge pain in the ass to maintain and I hated how I looked. So I tried letting it dry naturally... again, ick!

Once it reached chin length again, I was fine. And I solemnly swear to never cut it that short again!

Goth Challenge, Day 17

Day 17 – Your favourite Goth brand

I don't really have one. I'm not one of those people who is ruled by brand names - especially with clothes. If I see something that I like, and it fits, (and I have the money) I will get it, regardless of the brand or the store.

But Goth brands... in general this concept seems wrong. For many of us, starting out, there were no Goth brands. We put together out ensembles from pieces found in a variety of places, including thrift shops, costume shops, estate sales, etc. Or, we learned to make our own pieces of clothing, jewelry, etc.

Granted, I wouldn't know the first thing about making my own clothes (though I do hope to one day) - I am more of the type to make thrift shop, eBay, or estate sale items more gothy by altering them or accessorizing. I have, and sometimes still do, make my own jewelry.

I also purchase from friends who have small businesses of hand-crafting items of clothing or accessories. I think it is very important to support these small businesses. This is where the creative talent thrives - it is these designers who spawn new trends in subculture style. Buying custom pieces also ensures that when you go to the club, there is no one else there wearing the same outfit.

Necklace by Glitterfist

Buying off-the-shelf, mass produced Goth is somewhat anathema to those of us who consider ourselves "elders." It smacks of laziness and is uninspired. It shows no real commitment to being Goth. Anyone can pop into a Hot Topic and be a Goth poseur. Dressing in this mass-produced garbage and calling yourself a Goth is like drinking only Budweiser and calling yourself a beer connoisseur.

Goth Challenge, Day 16

Day 16 – What's the most casual you've ever dressed?

In what sense? In college, I worked at a local bar until 3 am. I'd get home, sleep for a few hours then roll out of bed and head to my 8 am classes in my pjs.

When I was with my ex, I wasn't able to dress gothy, so I often just wore jeans and a tee shirt.

When I was pregnant with my children, there weren't good goth options in maternity clothes, and after a bit, all I cared for was comfort, so I lived in yoga pants, a tee shirt and a belted, long cardigan.

Since getting back to being myself, the most casual I dress is usually a black skirt and a black tee shirt. Though I have been known to walk my daughter to school in my pjs if it's a day I'm not going to the office.

I'm really more about being comfortable than really caring how fancy or gothy I look. As long as I feel like me, I'm all good.

Me in casual clothes at a party in Seattle in 2005

Me very hung over and casual in a rental car in Austin in 2007

Goth Challenge, Day 15

Day 15 – Your favourite or most expensive item in your wardrobe.

This is a sad topic for me...

I got rid of most of my favorite clothes after having children. Since then, my body shape keeps changing, and I haven't had the money to get the wardrobe I want as it all goes to child care. And when I do get to buy clothes, they need to be work appropriate.

When I no longer have to pay what would equal a second rent payment each month for child care, and have a little spending money, I am going to get some fun goth clothes from Drac-in-a-Box and Azrael's Accomplice Designs.

Until then... well, this is what I have...

I particularly like this dress, which was a gift from a friend. It's fun. I love the purple and black tulle underneath. and the clips are a nice touch. I have worn this not only to the Goth club, but also out for fancy restaurant dates.

The most expensive dress is the one I wore to my brother's wedding last fall. I rather like how it's like a Gothified 50s housewife kind of look. I like wearing my black pearls with it.

But my most favorite thing in my closet is the pair of Victorian boots. I used to wear these almost daily. The heel on one broke, but I had it fixed and was happily wearing them again for a while. Then I broke my foot. Since then, wearing heels has been very difficult. I hope the pain eases soon as I really love these boots!

Goth Challenge, Day 14

Day 14 – What was your worst DIY disaster and best DIY success?

I do love a good DIY project! And I do make many things. For example, I've made most of our Christmas ornaments, embroidered shirts for my kids, made them fun pillows, hand-made embossed birthday invites with caligraphy... I could go on for the rest of the day...

But the thing I like to do best is cake sculptures. I make fancy cakes for my children's birthdays, friend's children's birthdays, school events, etc. I made my first sculpture for my daughter's second birthday. She was very into The Wizard of OZ at the time, so I did the ruby slippers for her.

Ruby Slippers for Lily's 2nd birthday

I really wasn't sure what I was doing, but with the help of a friend (who was the former pastry chef at the restaurant where my husband worked, who also made our wedding cake and who now owns the best chocolate shop ever, Artisan Confections) I was able to get a basic idea of what I needed, where to get it and the techniques to use. And I was fairly pleased with the results, as it was my first time.

Since then, I've done many fancy cakes.

The worst disaster was the Super Mario cake I did for a good friend before he left for Special Agent training. The cake looked great when I went to bed.

Super Mario cake for Ryan's Bon Voyage

Early the next morning, my son came into my room crying that the cake was broken and vowing that he didn't touch it. I flew down the stairs to find that the back of the middle layer had collapsed over night.

Disaster!

I cried. I was so very upset.

Then I calmed down and assessed the damage. I decided I had enough skill and supplies that I could salvage the cake. An hour later it was repaired.

Repaired

And it was a hit at the party too.

The best cake? Well, I've done some awesome ones, but my favorite was the one for my daughter's sixth birthday. She requested "Dracula coming out of a coffin with blood everywhere!" (I was so pleased that my little girl was becoming a baby bat!) This was the most fun I have ever had making a cake. I listened to Evil Dead 2 on the tv in the background, and used my Bela Lugosi doll as a model for the figure. And of course, I just happened to have mint flavored stage blood in my closet...

Dracula for Lily's 6th

I think some of the other kids were a little afraid of this cake, but, I didn't let that bother me.  And I know my in laws thought it was "wildly inappropriate." <insert maniacal laughter here>

I truly love making these cakes. Yes, it takes hours and hours, but it satisfies my creative needs. No, I will never do this professionally. It is a hobby and something I do because I want to not because I have to. If this were a job, I'd most likely end up hating it.

Just for fun, here are some of the other cakes I've made of which I am rather proud:

Dragon for Gareth's 1st

Fasery houses for Lily's 3rd

Tea Mouse for Lena's 1st

Hello Kitty for Siri's 3rd (Kitty head made of rice crispies)

Pink Grumpy Bear for Lena's 2nd

Tiana for Lily's 5th

R2D2 for Gareth's 3rd

School mascot for Teacher Appreciation Day

Death Star for Gareth's 4th

Despicable Me for Kindergarten Graduation

Minons

Goth Challenge, Day 13

Day 13 – What was your first band t-shirt?

I got this Cure shirt in, I think, 1987. I was about 14.

My mom took me out of school for a special day together. We went to downtown Pittsburgh, had lunch, and did some shopping. I remember asking her to take me to Eide's Entertainment store. I remember being excited to find this shirt in a size small enough to fit me without looking like a tent as this was well before the advent of the Girly-Tee.

I also remember the first time I wore it because I was disappointed that no one else that I knew at the time was excited about the Cure. In fact, I had several people actually ask me who the Cure was.

Looking back, I'm not really surprised. After all, this was the Pittsburgh area in the mid-80s. Pittsburgh was, and still is, stuck on "classic rock." In fact their current "alternative" radio station seems stuck in thee early 90s - they have a heavy rotation of Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Stone Temple Pilots... But back then, if it wasn't 80s hair metal, Zeppelin or Floyd, or top 40 crap, 99% of people in my high school didn't know it. In the next couple years, they did know the Cure and Depeche Mode, as each band had radio hits then. The Cure had Pictures of You and Depeche Mode had Personal Jesus and Enjoy the Silence.

But this shirt became symbolic to me of realizing that I existed somewhere on the fringes - outside the norm.

Goth Challenge, Day 12

Day 12 – What's your Gothic inspiration?

I can't say there is one outstanding person from when I was in my formative Baby Bat years who made me think: "I want to be just like you," or "You've really inspired me to be the Goth I am." I've almost always done what made me happiest and most comfortable.

I have already addressed what drew me into the Goth subculture in Goth Challenge, Day 1.

As for inspiration... I can say I've always found inspiration in Queen Elizabeth I.

I greatly admire the determination, grace and will with which she lived her life in the face of so many seemingly insurmountable obstacles. She fought with every fiber of her being to gain and maintain her crown, then proceeded to become one of the greatest monarchs of her time: despite imprisonment; despite multiple attempts to dethrone, discredit, or assasinate her; despite the country being nearly penniless; despite the deeply divided and fighting religious factions.

She refused to be bullied by those around her who wished her to follow the more traditional routes for a woman - marry, have children, and let the men rule.

My Lords, do whatever you wish. As for me, I shall do no otherwise than pleases me.
Elizabeth to Parliament on the succession issue

She made the world stop and take notice of her. "She is only a woman, only mistress of half an island," marvelled Pope Sixtus V, "and yet she makes herself feared by Spain, by France, by the Empire, by all".

Her reign became the idealized Gold Standard.

Elizabeth was also a great patron of the arts. During her reign, such greats as Shakespeare, Marlowe and Spencer rose, and literacy flourished.

She encouraged great scientific minds like Sir Francis Bacon and Dr. John Dee. And encouraged exploration by Sir Franscis Drake and Sir Walter Raleigh, among others.

I try to be true to myself while striving to reach all of my goals in life without bending to the cries of society telling me I have to conform to their ways and norms. That includes living a goth lifestyle.

Elizabeth I, painted after 1620, during the first revival of interest in her reign.
Time sleeps on her right and Death looks over her left shoulder;
two cherubs hold the crown above her head